Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to BeDec 15, 2021
By Teresa Peters.
Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be, have the courage to challenge your limiting beliefs, align your values and embrace who you really are with our Business accelerator Teresa Peters
One of my most significant peak moments in time is running through the Northumberland countryside, with my hubby and teenagers running or cycling by my side, as the winter sun glistens through the bare branches and I feel the crisp air against my cheeks.
If you were to ask me what's important to you about this?, I'd reply, my family, health, love, connection, positivity, freedom, adventure, and challenge. These are defined as my move towards values.
If I was asked, what state/situation would you do almost anything to avoid happening? I'd reply, being unwell, letting my family down, not being independent or financially free, making anyone unhappy and not being true to myself. These are defined as my move away from values.
What are values?
Your values represent your core beliefs, and your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They determine your priorities, and deep down, they are probably the measures you use to tell yourself if your life is turning out the way you want it to.
Of course, there are common values among everyone; however, the first things to remember are:
1 Values are not what we like but what is important to us.
2 Every person has values.
3 Every individual's set of values is different from another's.
4 There are no right or wrong values.
5 Each value has a different meaning to each of us.
Frequently, we'll set goals and make decisions based on everything but our values, so things such as what we think is expected of us. We are surrounded by people who have expectations of us, and often we set goals to meet their expectations.
The impact of having increased self-awareness has on you, or your business can be ten-fold. Once you elicit your values and limiting beliefs with a highly trained coach who explores with you on a deeper level, there's no stopping you!
I'm about to share something deeply personal because I'm a big believer in being authentic. I stopped drinking alcohol in June 2020, and do you know what triggered me to feel motivated to do this – listing my values in order and how I lived by these each day. When I was honest with myself, I realised that I spent more time drinking wine than exercising or getting out with my family doing what I love most. I channelled my boundless energy into growing my coaching company, challenging myself, becoming financially free and BEING PRESENT with my family.
My aim in life is to BE rather than DO or HAVE – to live every day with the feeling I have during that 'peak moment in time'.
A Values elicitation exercise
You know I love sharing tools, so why not grab a pen and notebook to delve a little deeper as we work through the rest of this together.
What's important to me about? Business, health, relationship, career –
I invite you to refer to the wheel of life exercise to identify each area or segment that we explored together in The Wheel Of Life.
Keep repeating the question – 'What's important to me about…? repeatedly until you exhaust your list.
Another way to elicit values is to think back to when you were outraged, frustrated or upset – perhaps you felt trapped or bored. This could highlight that your opposite values are freedom or challenge.
I invite you to write freely with thoughts about what you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. What are these values? This may include reading because you have a love of learning or kissing each of your family before they leave the house.
What are beliefs?
Essentially beliefs are rules that we live our lives by. Beliefs are stories we tell ourselves in our mind's eye. They are things that we perceive as facts even if they aren't true, and they are things that will either empower us, liberate us, or hold us back. If you have an empowering belief that will generate positive behaviours, and if you have a belief that limits you, you're going to create behaviours that also restrict you.
I explored my personal beliefs with my coach (most accredited coaches have a coach and supervision) and recognised that I could, on occasion, be a people pleaser. My need to please served me as a child growing up when I had to meet adversity head-on, but it now no longer serves me as an adult. Reframing this belief has helped me grow as a person, mother, wife, friend, and business owner.
Raising your self-awareness gives you more choices, leading to changes in behaviour, changes in your decision making, and enables you to achieve much greater things.
As humans, we are destined to develop perpetually, and there is no end to human perfection. If we align our lives and work with our empowering beliefs and core values, we can find our purpose and feel truly fulfilled.
What beliefs and values have you uncovered? How will you embrace these changes as we move from the crispness of winter into the longer, brighter days of spring, where nature starts budding, and the birds are singing?
Teresa Peters is accredited at Senior Practitioner level with the EMCC, as an Executive Coach and Personal Performance Coach. She is also highly trained in managing teams effectively in a virtual world. She empowers Entrepreneurs, Intrapreneurs and Teams to find clarity, focus and transformation, both professionally and personally, using a solution-focused approach and DiSC profiling.
Accelerator Coaching offers a range of online and face to face support services using an empathic, human-centred approach combined with Teresa's corporate experience, 20 years in sales development and business acumen. She also co-founded another successful business where they've published 32 recipe books. She is an ethical coach who has 500+ hours coaching individuals and she has regular coaching herself. You can find out more about Teresa and her brilliant Accelerator Coaching here.
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