When You’re Spiralling: Two Simple Tools to Calm Your Nervous System

By Jenn Baron.

We all want to know what the heck we can do for ourselves when we’re spiralling, and you know I’ve always got your back, Sunshine.

Firstly, we can’t think our way out of a spiral. 

We need to tend to our bodies because 80% of the information that our nervous system acts on comes from our bodies!

Who knew right?!

Here are two favorite tools I use throughout my day to regroup, soothe, center, calm, and just check in with my precious and hardworking nervous system.

First, the butterfly hug.

Ok, what’s not to love about the name of this tool?!

Cross your arms over your chest and put a hand on each shoulder.

Slowly start tapping one hand on your shoulder, alternating left and right.

For my fellow recovering perfectionists and neurodivergent peeps, it doesn’t matter which arm is crossed in front of the other, and it doesn’t matter which hand you tap first. Either is peachy.

Softly and gently alternate tapping one hand and then the other for at least 90 seconds. That’s how long it takes an emotion to move through our bodies when we don’t try to suppress or run away from it.

The crossed arms and alternate tapping engage both hemispheres of our brain, which slows the fear center of our brains, the amygdala, and helps us move through the fight/flight/freeze response, allowing us to access our prefrontal cortex so we can decide what to do next.

This is what it looks like to show up for ourselves, not abandon or throw ourselves under the bus, and participate in and actually complete the stress cycle. Doing this practice ensures we aren’t storing more stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) in our bodies and just stuffing our feelings down with pints of ice cream, goblets of margaritas, or 7 things from an online store we really don’t need, not that I’ve ever done or still do those things, LOL.

This is what it looks like to navigate life and show up for yourself.

Our caregivers did their best with the tools they had. Many of them didn’t have any tools, and they unintentionally let us down. And now it’s our responsibility, as adults, to stop expecting and hoping someone else will do the heavy lifting for us, and start doing it ourselves, and this is how peeps!

Bilateral activation. 

This helps, for all the same reasons as the butterfly hug. I appreciate options, as different things work for people in various situations.

Take anything. Your earbuds case, a tennis ball, a pen, your waterbottle, and pass it back and forth from one hand to the other in front of your body. 

You can do it under a table, while on a Zoom call, anywhere, and it’s a great tool for kids at school.

Set a timer for a few times a day to do one, the other, or both tools.

You’ll be giving your nervous system a little love, a break, and a reset.

These tools will build a greater sense of internal safety, help you when your normal brain is warning you about a potential threat, and help you access your prefrontal cortex so you can decide what kitten step to take.

Simple, doable, supportive.

These are my jam. I use them, they work for me, and I want you to have them too! You got this,

Sunshine, and I’ve always got your back!

Jenn Baron is a Certified Life Coach. She helps women see what's going on in their brains, decide if it's working for them, and share easy-to-implement tools that get them the results they want. Fast.

To learn more about how Jenn can help you, check out her website or Instagram