No Body is Perfect!May 14, 2021
By Nichola English
Learning to love our bodies with all their imperfections is asking a lot for most of us. But it’s time to push the boundaries of our comfort zones, and take a fresh look at what we consider to be imperfections. It’s time to start accepting and embracing them as part of who we are; a unique and fabulous individual.
So why do we find it so hard to say these magic words...
“I LOVE ME & I LOVE MY BODY”?
As a trained Personal Style Coach my philosophy and starting point is that every person is individual and perfect. What our work together is then about is creating a healthy appreciation of your unique body and developing a sense of your own true style during that process.
Our bodies are like our DNA, and unique for every single one of us. Yet in so many ways we’re conditioned to hold a stereotypical picture in our minds of what the perfect figure should be. But believe it or not, humanity will always be naturally varied. And thank goodness – how boring would life be otherwise! We have our own characteristics, shapes, sizes, tastes, styles and preferences that make us gloriously unique and individual.
So, it’s time to stop! Stop focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ with our bodies, and instead fully embracing and learn to love them.
Working with clients over the years, I’ve found that the ‘look good feel-good’ connection is so paramount in the evolution of exploring personal style, dressing for fun and finding flattering fitting clothes. Body confidence is a truly remarkable and effective tool for cultivating a healthy positive self-image.
The first rule of thumb is that, to feel good in your clothes, you must feel good in your own skin. Changing your body image doesn't automatically mean you have to physically change your body. But simply changing and controlling your thoughts to some degree around how you view yourself, is a step in the right direction.
Here are a few ideas to consider, to help you feel more positive and in alignment with your body...
Idea 1: Focus on things you like rather than what you don't
People can give you compliments and tell you how beautiful you are all day long, but if you don’t believe them then whatever they say is irrelevant. It can be so much easier for you to dwell on what you don’t like and why you believe the compliment you’re given isn’t true.
In this scenario positive thinking and self-acceptance is necessary. This allows you to focus on what you’re grateful for about your body. Why not create a new routine to change your mindset.
EXERCISE: Every day I’d like you to look into the mirror (morning is best) and tell yourself how amazing you are and all the positive stuff you see. This may seem strange at first and mirror work can be a little confronting, undeniably intimidating, and a little embarrassing. But it is also profoundly healing. It helps to develop self-love, self-care, and a more meaningful relationship with yourself.
Idea 2: Stop comparing yourself to others
Resist the urge to compare yourself to others by becoming aware of how you view you. Set goals that will enable you to build your confidence by re-educating yourself and adjusting your behaviours in a way that will help improve your opinion of yourself.
Remember, life isn’t a competition! Keep in your own lane and focus on reinforcing in yourself all of the amazing things you’ve achieved, no matter how big or small.
Idea 3: Don't give other peoples’ opinions prominence
You must face facts, not everyone is going to like what you look like, your career choice, or what values you stand for, and that’s okay! You just need to recognise that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Even though they may seem a bit off the mark, it's up to you whether their opinion holds any weight or measure on how you feel about yourself. Make a point of surrounding yourself with the right kind of tribe/people who are uplifting and positive and can have a really great impact in your life.
This is one of my favourite quotes that I use by Dr Wayne Dyer, which sums up this point beautifully…
“What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of others - Dr Wayne Dyer
Idea 4: Why is style important when it comes to our bodies?
Making changes to your wardrobe and style can have a huge effect on how you view yourself and your body. Throwing on a dress that flatters your curves instead of hiding them. Wearing a gorgeous pair of boots to emphasise your fabulous legs. Finding colours, styles and fabrics that really enhance your natural colouring. Wearing beautiful matching underwear sets. All of these things can change your mindset and the relationship you have with yourself. Accepting personal style as an ever-evolving tool can help to empower you by allowing you to accept and love your beautiful body.
Let’s face it, nobody is perfect! As a stylish woman you must trust that you know what feels and looks fabulous on your unique body. It’s time to get out there and create and hone your personal style and elevate your body confidence.
I’ll leave you with this beautiful mantra...
“My body is a work in progress. It is the vehicle for my soul. It is as beautiful today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow” - Anonymous.
Nichola English is addicted to fashion. From an early age picking out clothes for friends and family, she always had an eye for style which only expanded as she got older, eventually creating her business, The Wardrobe Provocateur.
Nichola adores working with women (and men) across the world discovering personal style, reinventing that old tired wardrobe and realising new confidence and vitality through coaching, shopping and good old clearing out of the old. You can read her full story of becoming The Wardrobe Provocateur here.
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