The Responsibility for Everyone Else’s Good Time Does Not Sit On My ShouldersNov 26, 2023
By Tricia Scott
With the season of all things merry, bright and exhausting around the corner, I wanted to take a minute to remind you of this critical point.
You do not exist to do everything for everyone else to your own detriment.
Running a business is hard enough at any time of year, but throw a casual season of extra shopping, cooking, planning, hosting and wrapping (so much wrapping) is enough to make the best of us want to retreat Grinch-like into our cave with hand-painted (in red obvs) KEEP OUT sign on the door.
Yet, every year, here we are. Obliging, moving around our calendars, quietly stressing at the thought of finding extra hours in the day, I mean, we can do our days work in four hours if we start at five am, get to the shops by nine-thirty, wrap presents till three, cook til five and serve dinner by six surely? Then there would still be time for that podcast interview overseas at eight! It's only for a season, right??
Stop. I beg of you.
The above example might seem extreme (it's not the most out there I've seen of an IRL example, trust me), but we all have some version of this in our lives. It might be a different occasion or scenario, but we all do it, and to change it, we first need to recognise it happening.
If you're nodding along, or you can already feel a sense of underlying anxiety creeping in but don't know why, this could be it—time for a change.
You do not (and should not) carry the burden of responsibility for everyone else good time on your shoulders.
Wouldn't you love to enjoy this time too? How would it feel to arrive in January rested, mentally prepared and excited for the year ahead instead of burned out and in recovery mode?
My advice? Start now. Ask for help, and tell everyone early that you will not be handling everything yourself this year. Interestingly, sometimes, when we do this, we find that either a) people have always wanted to help but assumed you loved doing it all yourself or b) they didn't want to interfere because you always seem so on top of everything.
In these cases, we learn that we must learn to communicate our needs to those around us. We believe that appearing to be superwoman is a sign of strength and capability. Still, more often than not, we're just setting ourselves up to do all of the work ourselves, leaving us depleted, resentful and wondering if a gravy ladle would be considered an offensive weapon in a court of law should we decide to take a swipe at our nearest and dearest when they ask for the hundredth time if dinner (for ten) is reaaaddyy yet?
Take a break. Communicate your needs. Buy an electric blanket and take an afternoon to watch Hallmark movies; whatever you need, do that.
None of the above makes you weak or incapable; it means you are human. Remember, all life requires balance and give and take.
Perhaps you've done enough giving already?
I believe in you, (always)
👉🏼 This affirmation was taken from a series I share every Monday with our Hello CEO mailing list. If you want to join in, head to the Homepage and sign up!
Tricia Scott is a passionate startup business mentor and the Founder and Editor of The Female CEO - Create Evolve Overcome, a platform and digital magazine holding the space to showcase female entrepreneurs from all over the world.
The Female CEO is gaining global recognition daily and Tricia is able to bring her own level of expertise as a start-up mentor and multi-company director to her very exclusive table along with her team of brilliant Guest Editors and Contributors. You'll usually find her with her MacBook in one hand and a coffee or a glass of something fizzy in the other Reach out anytime!
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