The Real Cost of Saying Yes

By Tricia Scott.

As I write this Biz Love Letter, I’m about to head off on a short holiday in a few hours, which means that, as you’re reading this, I’m probably on a sun lounger drinking coffee and devouring the latest Marian Keyes.

Heaven. 

The last couple of weeks have been wild, to say the least, and honestly, I’m always amazed at how much work it takes just to step away for seven days. Getting everything in place to leave the laptop at home has been like herding feral cats in stilettos (just kidding, I can barely walk in stilettos anymore). But here I am, case packed, flight at silly-o’clock, and leaving this as my very last task because it’s my favourite.

If we’ve been friends for a while, you’ll know I like to write from experience (because we’re all in the same boat, right?). These past couple of weeks of getting my ducks in a row for this holiday reminded me of the exhausting pull in a hundred different directions we all face:

A client needs “just one more little change.”
A collaborator wants to “hop on a quick call.”
A friend asks to “pick your brains.”
A meeting runs over because “just one more thing before you go.”

And because we’re literally wired to care, we say yes. We want to be helpful, supportive, and generous. We do it with a good heart because it’s who we are.

But here’s what I want you to know: Kindness without boundaries isn’t kindness. It’s self-betrayal.

Every time you undercharge because you don’t want to seem greedy

Every time you pile more onto your plate because you don’t want to let anyone down.

Every time you bite your tongue instead of calling out overstepping.

That’s not kindness - it’s you betraying you. And the payoff for that betrayal? Burnout, resentment, under-earning, and a business that slowly sucks the very life out of you, because while you’re offering more than you’ve got to give, you cannot possibly grow.

The alternative? Boundaried kindness. The kind that sounds like:

“I’d love to help. Here’s my rate.”
“My calendar’s full this week, let’s book for next month.”
“I value this relationship, which is why I need to be clear about what I can and can’t do.”
“We’re out of time today, but here’s the link to book more.”

That’s not selfish. That’s leadership.

It’s a hot pink boundary around what you can and cannot do.

Because when you stop betraying yourself in the name of kindness, you’re not just protecting your energy, you’re showing the world what sustainable leadership really looks like. And here’s the exciting part: every woman who sees you doing it suddenly realises she can do the same.

The ripple effect is enormous. Imagine a world where every woman respected her own boundaries, modelled that behaviour, and gave others permission to do the same. That stops being just leadership—that’s a revolution.

And listen, I’ve had years of noticing my own ridiculous habits (turns out I’m a world-class people pleaser when left unsupervised). It’s easy to slip. If it happens, let it go. Borrow some of that kindness you usually save for everyone else, give it to yourself, and reset.

That’s exactly why you won’t find me with my laptop during this break. Do I have things to do? Absolutely. But the world of business will keep turning without me - shocking, I know - and when I’m rested, everyone I serve will feel the difference.

Your boundaries don’t make you less kind. They make you magnetic, sustainable, and impossible not to respect.

And that is exactly what your business—and the world—needs from you.

I believe in you (always).

👉🏼If you want to receive a Biz Love Letter directly to your inbox every week, I email our Hello CEO mailing list every Monday. To join, head to The Homepage and sign up!

Tricia Scott is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Female CEO – Create Evolve Overcome, a global magazine, community, and platform championing women in business at every stage. A startup mentor and multi-company director, she has personally mentored more than 100 women and is an unapologetic amplifier of women’s stories, helping purpose-driven entrepreneurs step out of hiding and into their power, building businesses that feel as good as they look.

Through The Female CEO, Tricia curates a worldwide stage for women’s voices, strategies, and successes—because visibility isn’t a luxury, it’s a catalyst. When she’s not deep in conversation with her brilliant team of editors and contributors, you’ll find her with her MacBook in one hand and coffee (or something fizzy) in the other, dreaming up the next big way to make women feel seen, supported, and unstoppable.