Snake or Stick?

By Jenn Baron.

Here's one of the best analogies I've heard about anxiety.

Let's say you're walking on a trail in a park, and you see something squiggly ahead on the path. Your nervous system causes you to freeze in your tracks because it can't tell what said squiggly thing is.

It's a "potential" threat.

Is it a snake or a stick?

You have two options with two different outcomes.

Option 1: You Could Turn Around and Run In the Other Direction

This will train your amygdala (the almond-shaped fear center in your brain) that paths and parks aren't safe. So the next time you think about going for a walk in the park or a buddy asks you to go hiking, you're likely to pass because your amygdala will remind you of the potential threat. It also sends you a jolt of adrenaline and will serve up some discouraging thoughts to keep you from doing something potentially dangerous, so you're unintentionally training it to believe parks and paths are dangerous.

Option 2: You Could Slowly and Carefully Take One Small Step Closer to the Squiggle to See if It’s Moving or if It’s a Stick

By doing the latter, you're acknowledging your amygdala's warning, which is so vital for turning anxiety's volume down, AND allowing yourself to safely take a closer look. This puts your prefrontal cortex in charge (executive function), not your primitive brain (fight or flight). You're responding not reacting.

You're growing your confidence by showing up for yourself, pausing, and realizing that a moment of discomfort is actually doable and doesn't need always to be avoided at all costs.

Upon further inspection, you see that the squiggle is a stick, and you carry on with your beautiful and relaxing walk, taking in the glory of nature.

I'm doing something similar right now regarding making calls to my Congressmen and Senators here in the U.S. I hate making phone calls. I get tongue-tied, I interrupt, blank out, and feel loads of anxiety before and during calls.

But with all the crazy stuff going on in the United States, I cannot be quiet, which brings up a whole other suitcase of old baggage, LOL.

I guess it's time to compassionately address both, LOL.

I put the task of making calls off for a few days but was being kind and sweet with myself instead of beating myself up because that never works. I found a helpful site and app, 5 Calls, where they literally spell out short scripts and give you the names and numbers of who to call depending on where you live.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

I wanted to puke, crawl outta my skin, and felt irritable when I thought about making the calls. But if I would've avoided making them, I would've been training my amygdala that it's not safe to make the calls. That the discomfort and experience are threats to my safety and I would've avoided it which is not what I wanted.

So I gave myself a sweet little pep talk and started with my Democratic Congressman because I knew that would be the "easiest." The woman who answered was so awesome and the exchange was fantastic!

And even if it wasn't for some reason, I showed my amygdala that I was safe and we would survive the experience. So when I made my calls today, it was a little easier. Tomorrow, it'll be even easier because I'm training my brain to know that this isn't a threat.

Making calls may never be a total no-brainer, and that's ok; that's not my goal. My goal is to show up for myself and what I believe in, and to rewire my brain so I can respond instead of impulsively reacting on autopilot.

Your turn. Think of a situation where you reacted as though the thing *was* a threat before carefully taking a closer look.

And if you feel called to, take that second look to see if it's a snake or a stick, because not everything that our amygdala tells us is a threat actually is, and you could be missing out on something great!

You got this, Sunshine, and I've always got your back!

Jenn Baron is a Certified Life Coach. She helps women see what's going on in their brains, decide if it's working for them, and share easy-to-implement tools that get them the results they want. Fast.

To learn more about how Jenn can help you, check out her site or IG.