My Heart Deserves BetterDec 03, 2023
By Tricia Scott.
I don't know about you, but I love Brenè Brown. Something about her feels like she's enveloping me in a massive hug when I hear her speak; know what I mean?
One subject I was leaning into with Brenè recently was criticism. It's something I have discussed a hundred times or more with founders around the world because no matter where they are in the journey, everyone has 'the fear', and it is the reason that, whenever you read our Spotlight interviews, you'll always find the question asked, "How do you handle criticism? "
As trailblazers and entrepreneurs, every time we do something or put ourselves out there, we open ourselves up to the opinions of others (friends and family included), and it's terrifying. The fear of being criticised for our best endeavours can be debilitating, paralysing even. Worse, we have zero control over the words and actions of others (my inner control freak hates this), so we either stay stuck and do nothing, or we do the thing and wait, armoured up for the other shoe to drop - the shoe being a big chunky New Rock boot landing with a heavy thud.
Rather than go into my advice on criticism, I'd like to share with you the words of Brenè herself:
"Don't grab hurtful comments and pull them close to you by rereading them and ruminating on them. Don't play with them by rehearsing your badass comeback. And whatever you do, don't pull hatefulness close to your heart.
Let what's unproductive and hurtful drop at the feet of your unarmored self. And no matter how much your self-doubt wants to scoop up the criticism and snuggle with the negativity so it can confirm its worst fears, or how eager the shame gremlins are to use the hurt to fortify your armour, take a deep breath and find the strength to leave what's mean-spirited on the ground. You don't even need to stomp it or kick it away.
Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring, always remembering that armour is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheap-seat feedback."
Are you feeling that warm hug yet?
We may not have control over the words and actions of others, but we do get to decide how we allow those words and actions to impact us. We get to choose not to hold them close to our busy hearts but to lay them down and simply step over them- not to serve others but to save ourselves.
Connect to this affirmation whenever you feel yourself stalling on a post, writing, or launch. Read it aloud when you've hit publish and are waiting for the fallout (it usually never happens) or whenever you feel the old heavy armour settling into place, just in case.
Since I'm fangirling this week, I'll leave you with this little gem for those times when you may find yourself facing the fire:
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you're criticising from a place where you're not also putting yourself on the line, I'm not interested in your feedback.”
Remember, you can't run free when encased in iron armour.
The world needs you and your open heart.
I believe in you (always).
👉🏼 This affirmation was taken from a series I share every Monday with our Hello CEO mailing list. If you want to join in, head to the Homepage and sign up!
Tricia Scott is a passionate startup business mentor and the Founder and Editor of The Female CEO - Create Evolve Overcome, a platform and digital magazine holding the space to showcase female entrepreneurs from all over the world.
The Female CEO is gaining global recognition daily and Tricia is able to bring her own level of expertise as a start-up mentor and multi-company director to her very exclusive table along with her team of brilliant Guest Editors and Contributors. You'll usually find her with her MacBook in one hand and a coffee or a glass of something fizzy in the other Reach out anytime!
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