Ask Janine - Should We Split The Bill?Aug 03, 2021
By Janine Wirth.
Please help me settle a debate I'm having with my girlfriends. Now that everything is slowly but surely opening up again and we can finally start going on dates, the question is: Should we split the dinner bill?
Excellent question and one that has been asked by single women many times. Now, there are two schools of thought on this one and I'll explain my personal beliefs, and everyone can decide what feels aligned for them.
My belief is that it depends on who is doing the inviting. If I, for instance, invite my bestie for lunch, I will naturally pick up the bill. If a man invites me to dinner, he should pick up the bill. If he isn't able to do that financially, then he could invite me for a walk on the beach or put together a picnic for us to eat in the park. For me it isn't about the amount of money being spent, but his willingness to take the lead and create a great experience.
I know there are women who get offended when men open doors or pull chairs out for them, but I'm not one of them. I love good manners and will never scold a man for showing me respect in that way.
The idea is that we put our best foot forward during the dating phase, so a man inviting me and then expecting me to pay half shows me very quickly that our values are not aligned. I personally would then ‘friend zone’ him as paying half is something I do when my girlfriends and I are shopping and spontaneously decide to have lunch.
At the end of the day, we can discuss this till the cows come home, and everyone should do what they feel is important to them, but I'm old-fashioned in this sense and think that if a man wants the pleasure of my company, then he can take the lead and invite me to spend time with him without it involving split bills. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and he has never asked me to split a bill or pay for a meal. When I invite him, I will pay if I feel inspired to, but he certainly doesn't expect or insist on it.
Do you have a question you would like an answer to? If so then drop Janine a line at [email protected] All questions can be anonymous if preferred, just let her know!
Janine Wirth, is the proud founder of Path to Healing Therapy and Coaching. Her mission is to help female entrepreneurs heal their emotional baggage, heal unresolved emotional trauma and PTSD without spending years in therapy and create spectacular business success for themselves. You may have read her story in The Spotlight and if so you’ll know why she’s so passionate about her work so when she got the opportunity to work alongside The Female CEO and provide a monthly question and answer she was thrilled!
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