Ask Janine - How Do I Protect My Space and Energy When Dealing With Complaints All DayMay 12, 2021
By Janine Wirth
I have a challenge I hope you can help me with. I work in a call centre and am literally dealing with other people's problems every day for several hours at a time. My boyfriend works from home, in the IT industry, and doesn't have much interaction with customers needing help or dealing with complaints. When I get home, I need about 15 minutes just to decompress and gather myself. My boyfriend told me I'm ‘dismissive’ when I want some alone time first.
I'm guessing it must be similar for you being a therapist, so I hope you have some advice.
Dear Needing Space,
I understand why you might think it's similar for me, but in reality, it isn't. I'm very picky when it comes to who I work with, especially on a long-term basis, so when I look at my schedule every day, I get excited as it's filled with my favourite clients. While I help my clients find solutions or work through challenges, it's a very exciting collaborative process, so it actually energises me instead of draining me.
Now, your situation is very different as you're dealing with strangers that you didn't ‘choose’ to work with, many who I imagine can be rude or bad-tempered, so I fully understand that it can become draining and result in the need to decompress.
A healthy relationship allows us to state our needs in a safe environment without offending our partner, as we are equals and deserve to be heard and seen. We don't make or succumb to demands, but lovingly try to provide each other with what we need to thrive.
My suggestion is to sit your partner down with a nice glass of whatever and explain this in a calm, loving manner. Make a pact to each have a 15 minute ‘switch off from work’ phase and meet up to cook dinner together, go on a walk or anything else you enjoy where you are fully present with each other.
You didn't mention how you commute to work and back, but you could even include your commute in this decompression ritual by listening to a favourite podcast, your favourite music or even plain silence if that is your preference. That way when you get home you are already partially relaxed.
You might even choose to incorporate a short walk by yourself before you get home to have your ‘alone’ time before you see your boyfriend. Find what works best for you, as managing your stress on a daily basis is crucial to long-term mental health. You've got this!
I hope that helps lovely.
Janine Wirth, is the proud founder of Path to Healing Therapy and Coaching. Her mission is to help female entrepreneurs heal their emotional baggage, heal unresolved emotional trauma and PTSD without spending years in therapy and create spectacular business success for themselves. You may have read her story in The Spotlight and if so you’ll know why she’s so passionate about her work so when she got the opportunity to work alongside The Female CEO and provide a monthly question and answer she was thrilled!
Do you have a question you would like an answer to? If so then drop Janine a line at [email protected] All questions can be anonymous if preferred, just let her know! You can read all about Janine and her work here or catch up socially on Facebook or LinkedIn
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