Ask Janine - Outgrowing FriendsJul 08, 2020
By Janine Wirth
I need help breaking up with my circle of friends. We all know each other from high school and have stayed fairly close, meeting up at least once a month. Lately, I feel very disconnected as they like to party a lot and most of the time are just gossiping about other people, fashion or other very shallow topics.
In the last year, I've really gotten into self-development and am reading a lot of books. My dream is to eventually quit my job and start my own business, but I don't feel like my friends take me seriously, which is hurtful and holding me back. I feel like I have to pretend to be someone else when I see them.
Thanks a lot, Vanessa.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel so disconnected. You say that you've known each other since high school, so it's very normal that as we mature and develop different parts of our personalities that we will have different interests, values and opinions to our childhood friends. There is nothing wrong with that, however it often means that we tend to outgrow these friendships.
My clients often describe the same situation when they start their self-development journey as they become more aware of other people's energy and how they choose to spend their time. If you feel that you can't be yourself and openly discuss wanting to be an entrepreneur or that they are holding you back, then I would recommend that you start networking online with ladies that are on a similar path as you.
A good place to start is online entrepreneur groups on FB such as our own CEO community or a support group like mine Heal & Transform Your Life which is specifically for women interested in self-development. This will provide you with a safe space to ask questions, get book or course recommendations and make new friends whose interests are more aligned. You might even meet your new 'biz besties' that way.
Regarding your current friends, you don't have to have an official 'break-up' unless you want to stop being friends with them completely. If that is the case, you'll have to be honest and say that you're focusing on developing your business and the necessary skills needed in your spare time so you won't be going out in the next few months. My experience has been that these friendships will naturally fade away as you start focusing on what is really important to you.
Remember that not everyone we meet in life is meant to accompany us on our entire journey.
I hope this helps.
Janine Wirth, is the proud founder of Path to Healing Therapy and Coaching. Her mission is to help female entrepreneurs heal their emotional baggage, heal unresolved emotional trauma and PTSD without spending years in therapy and create spectacular business success for themselves. You may have read her story in The Spotlight and if so you’ll know why she’s so passionate about her work so when she got the opportunity to work alongside The Female CEO and provide a monthly question and answer she was thrilled!
Do you have a question you would like an answer to? If so then drop Janine a line at [email protected] All questions can be anonymous if preferred, just let her know! You can read all about Janine and her work here or catch up socially on Facebook or LinkedIn
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