Why You Can’t Rest - Burnout, the Mother Wound & the CEO Mom

By Marisa Sim.

There was a time when I ran a Zoom call with a sick toddler in the living room, a frozen smile on my face, and guilt on my shoulders. I powered through, apologised for the background noise, and told myself, "You're fine. Just keep going."

But I wasn't fine. I was running on empty, operating from obligation, and pushing past every signal my body sent me to slow down. Like so many high-achieving women, I believed I had to do it all perfectly or not at all.

Burnout is rampant among working mothers. But for female CEOs and founders, it's even more insidious. We carry the dual pressure of leading a business and running a household. Yet underneath the external demands lies a more profound, often unspoken truth:

For many of us, burnout is a trauma response.

When we grow up with emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or critical caregivers, especially mothers, we adapt. As little girls, we become experts at reading the room, suppressing our needs, and striving to be "good enough" to earn love, safety, or approval. We learn to abandon our feelings in favour of performance. We become hyper-responsible, hyper-capable, and hyper-independent.

This isn't because we were naturally born to be overachievers. It's because we had no choice.

When our emotional environment lacked safety or stability, we developed coping mechanisms that helped us survive—people-pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning, and staying busy to avoid feeling. These strategies were brilliant in childhood. They kept us safe. But in adulthood, they morph into chronic burnout, anxiety, and the inability to rest without guilt.

We learned that love is earned, not given. And without realising it, we carry those same survival strategies into our businesses, our parenting, and our sense of self-worth. We don't just strive for success - we need it to feel okay. And in the process, we disconnect from our bodies, our needs, and the softer, slower parts of ourselves that also deserve to exist.

Recognising Burnout as a Survival Pattern

Burnout isn't just about being too busy; it's also about feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. It's about consistently prioritising the needs of others over your own. It's about pushing through exhaustion, ignoring your health, resentment, and performing strength when you're slowly crumbling inside. If you experienced childhood trauma, your nervous system might be stuck in survival mode, constantly scanning for danger, approval, or both. Burnout then becomes the natural result of living in a chronic state of "not enough." I would like you to pause for a moment and think about these prompts.

Journaling Prompts:
What did I learn as a child about needing help or rest?
What are the signs your body gives you when you're nearing burnout?

The Superwoman Wound Is a Trauma Response

Many of us wear the "Superwoman" identity like a badge of honour. But beneath the cape is a scared little girl who learned that being useful is the only way to be loved. My mother expected a lot from me when I was young. I had to score good grades and be responsible for my younger brother when she was not home. When I did well, my mother would adore me, tell everyone how good a girl I was, and I grew up hearing adults say I was more mature than my age. When your worth was tied to your achievements as a child, it's no surprise you now equate rest with laziness. The Superwoman doesn't rest - she rescues. But in rescuing everyone else, she abandons herself. 

Journaling Prompts:
As a child, how were you praised or rewarded?
What belief about yourself are you still carrying from that time?

Creating Boundaries Between CEO Time & Mum Time

Switching between roles as a leader and a mother without clear boundaries can be mentally exhausting. When your calendar, brain, and emotional energy are blurred, burnout creeps in silently. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is structure your week around energy, not just tasks. Designate work hours, me time, solo rest, and sacred "no" zones. I have a 30-minute self-care block in the morning. This morning ritual is sacred for me, and my family knows not to disturb me. Work hours are blocked in my calendar, and I do not answer emails after 6:00 p.m. or on the weekends. I also take a 30-minute nap after lunch if my body needs it —no more pushing and grinding, more leaning into what makes me feel good and sane. Boundaries like these help me to be more productive, and I no longer feel guilty when I take breaks.

Journaling Prompts:
Where are you most likely to blur boundaries and say yes when you want to say no?
What is one boundary you can set this week to honour your energy?

Regulating the Nervous System in Micro-Moments

If you have unresolved trauma, stillness can feel unsafe. That's why meditation and rest can feel irritating instead of relaxing. Your body learned to equate being busy with being safe. You might not be able to sit still, and if you are neurodivergent, it can be even harder to meditate, but there are many other ways for you to regulate your nervous system.
Start small. Regulate your nervous system in micro-moments:

• Place one hand on your heart and say, "I'm allowed to rest."
• Walk barefoot on the grass for 2 minutes.
• Hum or sing to activate the vagus nerve

The vagus nerve is the longest and most important nerve in your parasympathetic nervous system—the system responsible for rest, digestion, and relaxation. Its name comes from Latin for "wandering," because it travels from your brainstem all the way down to your gut, touching your heart, lungs, throat, and digestive organs along the way.

Journaling Prompts:
What does "safety in my body" feel like?
What's one small daily ritual that helps me feel grounded?

You Don't Have to Do It All

If you were the emotionally responsible one growing up, asking for help might feel uncomfortable or even shameful. You may believe that needing support makes you weak. However, authentic leadership includes delegation, surrender, and softness. You don't need to be everything to everyone. You are not failing if you need a nap or ask for help. I learned it the hard way one day when my son was just a newborn, and I broke down because I was so overwhelmed, trying to do things perfectly at home. My husband saw that and said, "You know you can ask for help, right?" A lightbulb moment occurred! I was brought up to be independent, so it never even occurred to me to ask for help.

Journaling Prompts:
What stops you from asking for help?
What part of you still believes you have to do everything yourself?

Redefining Success Through a Trauma-Informed Lens

We have been conditioned to believe that success is based on title, status, and wealth. What if success wasn't about more clients, more sales, or more productivity? What if success were about alignment, peace, joy, and connection? Healing the burnout pattern begins when we choose to operate from our healed self, not our hurt self. That means trusting that you're already worthy—even when you're resting, even when you're doing less. Unlearning the old way of measuring success and learning a new way starts by healing the narrative that was formed in your childhood, and maybe even your lineage.

Journaling Prompts:
If success were based on how you feel, rather than what you achieve, what would change?
What does the healed version of you want to create, experience, or lead?

Final Thoughts: Your Energy is Sacred

Burnout is not a personal failure. It is a nervous system seeking safety, a body craving rest, and an inner child yearning to be seen.
You are allowed to lead and rest.
You are allowed to mother and receive as well.
You are allowed to be powerful and supported.
And you are allowed to rewrite the rules - starting now.

Ready to go deeper? I guide working mothers and female founders in healing their Mother Wound, enabling them to thrive in business, life, and motherhood through Root Cause Therapy. It works by accessing your subconscious mind and rewiring your limiting beliefs, removing the emotional charge associated with the event where your limiting belief was formed. You will feel more empowered and gain greater clarity and direction to navigate life with ease.

Book a connection call with here: www.marisasim.com 

Marisa Sim is a trauma-informed coach. As a childhood trauma survivor, she understands firsthand how trauma affects our mental health and well-being. Now she supports women to heal from their childhood trauma and step into their power.

You can find out more about Marisa and her work at: https://www.marisasim.com/