The Sh*t List: On Everything We've Got Wrong in Our Businesses and What to Do With It Instead

By Tricia Scott.

I don't know about you but I love to spend some time during the week to grab my favourite coffee and catch up on blogs and articles — I rarely have time to read them as they arrive so I save them and make a bit of a solo date for it — a bit like the usually ultra serious lawyer Miranda in Sex and The City when she saves her gossip mags for home when she can indulge in them fully without interruption. 

Last week I was drinking my latte and reading an article by Danielle LaPorte. It was one of those that, while the context was different, the message really hit home and I've been thinking about it ever since. It's a conversation I've had many times over the years with The Female CEO community, and it was about the shit list.

The shit list is a mental running tally most of us keep. The decisions we regret. The client we didn't follow up with. The thing we said we'd do in January and months can pass and we… haven't. The goal that was supposed to be “this year's thing” that still lives in the notes app on your phone.

You know the one. It sounds a bit like 'I should've sorted this by now' and 'everyone else seems to have it together.'

Danielle frames it as the list we keep of everything we've got wrong. And when I read that, I felt a bit exposed, you know?

Because I have one. I suspect you do too.

I use it here in the context of business but, I mean really, it's across the board isn't it? And, to add insult to serious injury, we don't stop at the list. We add to it constantly. We revisit it when we're tired. We use it as some sort of gory evidence, like proof that we're behind. That we should have known better. That everyone else has their act together and we're the one still trying to outrun the gap between where we are and where we thought we'd be by now.

Not only is it exhausting, but it's also the least useful thing we do.

So, what's the answer? Danielle's answer to the shit list is what she calls “bless the mess.”

Which at first pass could sound a bit airy fairy. But stick with me. 

She doesn't mean pretend the mess isn't there. She doesn't mean bypass it or tell yourself it's all fine and manifest your way out of it. She means: do the clean-up. Just do it from a different place. 

Acceptance first. Action second.

Most of us try to sprint away from what's gone wrong. We double down, overwork, we add more to the list of things we must fix urgently, immediately, RIGHT NOW. And all of that momentum? It's driven by shame. By the feeling of not enough. And I promise you anything built on that foundation is going to feel exhausting. Always.

The road less travelled — and it genuinely is less travelled, because most people are not doing what you're doing — is to stop. Look at the actual state of play. Not with a performance review mindset or to give yourself some sort of corporate appraisal (remember those…wah!) and not with the inner critic sharpening her pencil, but with something closer to curiosity. 

Sort of a … Hm. Here's where I am. Interesting.

What if that's where this week started?

Not in the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Not in the list of everything you haven't done. But in an honest, almost generous, look at what's actually in front of you.

One thing to acknowledge. One thing to bless. One small action to take from that place — rather than from the place of panic and I-should-have-done-this-already.

Put the list down. Bless the f*cking mess. You've got a whole week ahead of you — make it a good one. 

I believe in you (always),

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 Tricia Scott is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Female CEO — a global platform, magazine, and community dedicated to helping women build confident, aligned, powerful businesses.

A startup mentor and multi-company director, she’s spent the past decade helping women move from overwhelmed and isolated to empowered and intentional.

Most days, she’s juggling her MacBook, her next big idea, and a very necessary caffeine supply. Connect with her at thefemaleceo.com.