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Stop Asking For Permission to Spend Money

ilana jankowitz mindset money money matters May 14, 2022

Standing together for women’s equality is something I feel very strongly about. When it comes to equality and money, I firmly believe it’s time to throw off the diminishing beliefs, behaviours and stigmas around our money stories.

There’s no better story to start with than our one around ‘needing permission’. That’s the one that has us believing we’re not safe with money and need someone else to tell us what we can and can’t do with it.
All too often, I hear the words “I need permission from my … (fill in the blank) before I can spend X or make a financial decision about Y.” And this has to stop!


You don’t need permission

I’m passionate about empowering women to understand, heal, and change their disempowering money stories in work and life. Of all the stories we have, this ‘permission’ one runs the deepest.

For hundreds of years, we’ve been taught that women aren’t capable of being financially independent or making their own decisions about money. Instead, we’ve believed that “man is the breadwinner for the little woman!” We must be good girls and ask permission from our husbands and significant others before we spend a thing.

But stop a minute and ask yourself – is that true?

Do you, an independently-minded, grown woman, really need ‘permission’ from anyone to do anything?!


Empower yourself

Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating running off and buying a yacht without prior discussion with your partner, but it’s essential to realise that discussion and permission are two very different things.

When others are involved, decisions still need to be made, but they should be made through JOINT discussions, with both of you being happy with the outcome.

Women are actually very smart and capable when it comes to looking after money and making wise financial decisions. The only problem is that we don’t believe in ourselves enough and allow ourselves to go for it.

It’s time to find our voices and claim our place in the money conversations and decision-making processes. For example, if you disagree with the spending choices of your partner, you’re allowed to say “no” and bring alternative options to the table.

When you let go of the belief that you need permission for anything to do with money, the way you view it will completely change. Money will no longer be a thing of fear and discomfort or a weapon used against you; instead, it will become something that empowers you and that you value. The day I started valuing money, everything changed!


When you value money, you’re unstoppable

Let me be clear – valuing money isn’t about greed or putting money before people. But whether we like it or not, money has a big part in how we live our lives. So, it makes sense that the core values that reflect who you truly are, are also reflected in your financial life.

Your attitudes about money define everything that matters to your financial situation: how much money you’ll need, how hard you’ll work, how you’ll feel when you have it, etc. When you have clarity on your values and goals and what they mean to you and align them with money, you become unstoppable!

If you’d like to understand more about your money stories, the best place to start is with my free Money Quiz. Once you’ve taken the quiz, book a call in my diary, and together we’ll look at different ways you can transform them.


 Ilana Jankowitz is a certified Money Coach born and raised in South Africa and currently residing in Zurich. Her work is all about identifying behavioural patterns around money, transforming negative thinking and moving from a self-destructive mindset to one that is positive and inspiring.

She is passionate about helping women to break free from self-doubt, low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence and move towards financial liberation and she can help you too with her free money quiz.  You can read all about Ilana and her work here or on any of my social pages Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube



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