Are You Living by Design or Default?

By Tricia Scott.

At the time of writing it's a Bank Holiday Monday, the sun is absolutely blazing outside, and I am back from Ibiza with salt air still in my system (and my hair) and a thought I haven't been able to put down since I landed back on Friday night (I'm also choosing to believe I brought the sunshine home. You're welcome, UK.)

I flew out two weeks ago for the Moxie Reset — a one-day (usually 5 day) retreat run by Sue Stoneman and Michael Faulkner at a 17th-century finca nestled into the hills above the Mediterranean. I said yes immediately. Retreat. Reset. Ibiza. I didn't need convincing.

What I didn't understand until I was standing on a sunrise yoga deck watching the horizon turn turquoise was what I was actually saying yes to.

I was saying yes to myself. (Turns out I don't do that nearly enough.)

Moxie is built on the premise that most of us aren't living by design. We're living by default.

I'll carve out space when things calm down. When the list is shorter. When I've finished the big thing. When I've actually earned it.

You know this voice. She is very convincing.

She is also wrong.

Things don't calm down.

The list doesn't get shorter.

And you have already earned it — you earned it before you got to this line.

Here's what living by default actually looks like in practice. We let other people's priorities fill the calendar before our own get a look-in. We treat thinking time, creative space, and rest as luxuries, you know, the things we get to have after the real work is done. We react, respond, deliver, repeat. And then we arrive at a random Tuesday in May, wondering why we feel like we're sprinting and standing still at the same time.

That is not a productivity problem. That is a design problem.

Living by design is different. It is an act of genuine audacity. It means choosing on purpose — deciding in advance what your life and your business are for, and then protecting the conditions that make that possible. It means scheduling the thing that has no immediate deliverable. It means treating your own creative space as non-negotiable, not provisional.

It means, sometimes, flying to Ibiza on a Wednesday.

So here's what I want to leave you with: You are not out of time. You are out of the habit of choosing yourself first.

You don't need to fly anywhere. You need one decision. One intentional move this week that says: I matter in my own calendar.

Not react. Choose.

Not default. Design.

I believe in you (always).

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 Tricia Scott is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Female CEO — a global platform, magazine, and community dedicated to helping women build confident, aligned, powerful businesses.

A startup mentor and multi-company director, she’s spent the past decade helping women move from overwhelmed and isolated to empowered and intentional.

Most days, she’s juggling her MacBook, her next big idea, and a very necessary caffeine supply. Connect with her at thefemaleceo.com.