Understanding your value
By Tricia Scott
When it comes to our own personal value we can be our own best friend or our own worst enemy, but which are you? do you actually know what your value is?
I am a strong believer that value is a personal responsibility, it comes from within. It’s at the very core of who you are as a person and something that isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinion or treatment of you (although it can feel that way). Knowing your value, or worth is an inner confidence that cannot be touched by anyone else. Period.
Value isn’t based upon the last client you lost or the negative review you received (that’s a whole other story, for help with reviews see here) or a family member who disappointed you and similarly it isn’t found in the car you drive, the number in your bank account or the most on-trend fancy brands you wear.
The danger in basing your worth on these things is that when we encounter a setback or a disappointment we feel our self-worth is lowered and our confidence begins to fall apart. In truth, inner confidence isn’t based on any of that and therefore it cannot ever be taken away or destroyed by anyone outside of ourselves.
Now I never said that was easy, for those of you reading this and struggling, I hear you. I’ve been there but I promise you it is possible. Small consistent actions and reminders can help you turn it around and the rewards reach further than you could ever imagine.
So where do I even start?
To begin knowing your value you must first know that you are worthy of love, happiness, respect and of course massive success.
Didn’t get the promotion you went for? You are still fully worthy
Didn’t make the six figures you aimed for? You are still fully worthy
Still haven’t managed that MASSIVE pile of washing in the kitchen despite feeling like you’ve been washing F-O-R-E-V-E-R – Yep, still totally worthy
You see, you will always be, and have always been, worthy of love, respect, happiness and success no matter what. It doesn’t come from all of that external stuff, good or bad. You will always deserve a kick-ass life, the biggest and best version of success and happiness that literally radiates around you. Today and every-single-day.
So, when you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you are worthy. That no matter what you face your value doesn’t increase or decrease in relation to external circumstances. Its never about proving your worth – I mean really? F**k that – You’ve already got it all going on so use this belief to carry you through. When this sinks in and you begin to practice you will liberate yourself from fear, self-criticism, and the crippling doubt that stops us from moving forward and achieving true greatness both in our businesses and our lives.
Your internal radar:
When you begin working on your self-worth and value, you will start to notice when someone else is affecting your feelings worth and set boundaries in accordance with how they make you feel. What is acceptable behaviour to you? How do you expect to be treated and spoken to? Believe me, when this realisation kicks in you will be more than happy to speak out and defend your boundaries. It’s like an internal compass (or bullshit detector) has been switched on and you’ll feel yourself saying NO MORE.
External validation – Not necessary. Check!
The dreaded discount
You don’t need to discount your product, service or worth to anyone. Ever.
You also do not need to tone it down, take a step back or reign yourself in.
Anyone telling you this bullshit needs to be taken outside and hosed down in shame. Immediately.
The fear of losing business, friends or even family members respect has people everywhere ‘discounting’ themselves and undercharging for the invaluable service they offer. This is not OK however it is classic of the desire to prove ourselves and to over deliver, especially as women, while at the same time charging less (or giving away more of ourselves than we are really comfortable with). This behaviour will leave you burned out and very, very pissed off.
Yes, it’s hard to rethink and set our boundaries but remember, you only get ONE life. ONE shot at this stuff and a lot of women I speak to are living lives of utter desperation because they haven’t set the boundaries and said ‘This is no longer OK for me’
Your vibe attracts your tribe.
May I make a suggestion?
For the next ten days (or three or seven, whatever feels good for you) write down how many ways you value yourself and why. This can be the tasks you undertake, the value you bring to the lives of those around you, the products or services you offer and then ask yourself, is this the best it could be?
You’ll soon identify areas for change and improvement and when you do ask yourself, what would the best, most fierce version of me do in this situation? Or my best friends favourite, what would Beyoncé do? lol. If I valued myself more who would I be and what would be the first thing I would do to level this up?
Remember, regardless of any outside circumstance, you are one perfect creation in every possible way. You are worthy always.
I believe in you.