You are worthy
Happy Friday Beautiful!
How was your week? For me, last week saw our very first interactive workshop as The Female CEO delivering 'Working Happy, The Foundations for Success' to some amazing young people at DePaul UK. I used to run events all the time and I'd almost forgotten how much fun it was! For those of you who don't know me (I know we've got quite a few new faces here this week, hi!!) I previously worked as a volunteer mentor for young people at DePaul UK and also Crisis, so having the chance to get involved again in something so close to my heart and combine it with The Female CEO was a dream opportunity . Huge thanks to all concerned, I can't wait for the next one!
Writing the workshop got me to thinking more about our personal value and what it means to our lives and our work. Have you thought about it much?
When it comes to personal value we can be our own best friend or our own worst enemy, but which are you? Do you actually know what your value is? I am a strong believer that value is a personal responsibility, it comes from within. It’s at the very core of who you are as a person and something that isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinion or treatment of you (although it can feel that way). Knowing your value, or worth, is an inner confidence that cannot be touched by anyone else.
Value isn’t based upon the last client you lost or that negative review you received (that’s a whole other story, for help with reviews see here) or a family member who disappointed you and similarly it isn’t found in the car you drive, the number in your bank account or the most on-trend fancy brands you wear.
There is a danger in basing your worth on these things, that when we encounter a setback or a disappointment we feel our self-worth is lowered and our confidence begins to fall apart. In truth, inner confidence isn’t based on any of that and therefore it cannot ever be taken away or destroyed by anyone outside of ourselves.
Now, don't get me wrong, I never said that was easy, for those of you reading this and struggling, I hear you. I’ve been there too but I promise you it is possible. Small consistent actions and reminders can help you turn it around and the rewards reach further than you could ever imagine.
So, where do you event start?
To begin knowing your value you must first know that you are worthy of love, happiness, respect and of course massive success.
Didn’t get the promotion you went for? You are still worthy
Didn’t make the six figures you aimed for? You are still worthy
Still haven’t managed that MASSIVE pile of washing in the kitchen despite feeling like you’ve been washing F-O-R-E-V-E-R – Yep, still worthy
You see, you will always be, and have always been, worthy of love, respect, happiness and success no matter what. It doesn’t come from all of that external stuff, good or bad. You will always deserve an amazing life, the biggest and best version of success and happiness that literally radiates around you. Today and every day.
So, when you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you are worthy. That no matter what you face, your value doesn’t increase or decrease in relation to external circumstances. It's never about proving your worth – I mean really? Fuck that – You’ve already got it all going on so use this belief to carry you through. When this sinks in and you begin to practise you will liberate yourself from fear, self-criticism, and the crippling doubt that stops us from moving forward and achieving true greatness both in our businesses and our lives.
Your internal radar:
When you begin working on your self-worth and value, you will start to notice when someone else is affecting your feelings of worth and set boundaries in accordance with how they make you feel.
What is acceptable behaviour to you?
How do you expect to be treated and spoken to?
Believe me, when this realisation sets in you will be more than happy to speak out and defend your boundaries. It’s like an internal compass (or bullshit detector) has been switched on and you’ll feel yourself saying NO MORE.
External validation – Not necessary. Check!
The dreaded discount:
You don’t have to discount your product, service or worth to anyone. Ever.
You also do not need to tone it down, take a step back or reign yourself in.
Anyone telling you this bullshit needs to be taken outside and hosed down in shame.
The fear of losing business, friends or even family members respect has people everywhere ‘discounting’ themselves and undercharging for the invaluable service they offer. This is not OK however it is classic of the desire to prove ourselves and to over deliver, especially as women, while at the same time charging less (or giving away more of ourselves than we are really comfortable with). This behaviour will leave you burned out and very, very pissed off.
It can be a tough one to rethink and set our boundaries but remember, you only get ONE life. ONE shot at this stuff and a lot of women I speak to are living lives of utter desperation because they haven’t set the boundaries and said ‘This is no longer OK for me’
May I make a suggestion?
For the next ten days (or three or seven, whatever feels good for you) write down how many ways you value yourself and why. This can be the tasks you undertake, the value you bring to the lives of those around you or the products or services you offer and then ask yourself, is this the best it could be?
You’ll start to identify areas for change and improvement and when you do ask yourself, what would the best, most fierce version of me do in this situation? Or my best friends favourite, what would Beyoncé do? lol. If I valued myself more who would I be and what would be the first thing I would do to level this up?
Remember CEO's, regardless of outside circumstances, you are one perfect creation in every possible way, You are worthy. Always.
I believe in you.