The fear of judgement

Are you seized by 'the fear' 

What happens when you create something new? Do you read or watch it, love it, give yourself a mental high 5 and hit send with a 'whoop' or do you read or watch it over, tone it down a bit and then send a test email to 700 of your closest friends to make sure it's not too much or offensive, to anyone, ever. 

Fear of judgement strikes all of us at one time or another, I hear it all the time from our community so I can assure you-you're not alone. After all, we're all being judged all of the time, aren't we? Everywhere we go and everything we say and do online or offline has the ability to draw an opinion from someone or other (have you seen my new blue hair?) and it's this knowledge that can be enough to turn even the most aspiring entrepreneur into a damp shrinking violet. 

I blame social media, and the press, and the internet and the world... I could go on but its 21st-century life isn't it?  The digital age brought out the haters, the trolls and the a*sholes from every creepy dark corner of everywhere but it also created amazing communities, the ability to network like never before and friendships and relationships that likely could never have been without it, its all about balance and that's the key. 

You're not (and nor do you want to be) for everyone. Accept it. If you have an opinion on anything then somewhere, someone won't agree. That's the beauty of opinions. Some people love rock music and have crazy hair (like me) and others hate it and declare it the work of the devil himself (Mmhmm?!) however, rock music doesn't become more melodic or gentle everytime someone comes along and declares it to be too heavy, no does it become heavier, louder or darker everytime it gains a new listener. It just is what it is. Opinions about a type of music don't change the actual music because the opinion is independent of the merits of what it is. 

It's no different to your voice, some people will LOVE you and some won't. It's all about who's reading, watching or listening. Some might even get all shitty about it (here come the trolls) but that just means that you're striking a chord somewhere. If you try to avoid judgement altogether by declaring that you LOVE rock music and you HATE rock music then where does that leave you? 

In the middle of fucking nowhere, that's where. 

So what you gonna do? If you decide (and you can) to stay in the middle of nowhere then you can't be yourself, ever, and your real followers, fans and cheerleaders deserve better than that. Don't you think? By aiming for a constant middle ground the haters win, they get to declare a victory march with their teeny tiny torches and walk-all-over you. If we all did that what would happen? The internet (and life in general) would become a massive sea of hospital waiting room yellowish-beige with the occasional wallflower hanging around, that's what. 

And the trolls would complain about that too. The Wallflowers would be too wall-ish, or purple or the beige would be too bloody beige.

You can win.

You can choose to be unapologetically you and speak your truth, whatever anyone else thinks. This isn't about going out of your way to upset people or cause harm (that's just weird and makes you a troll too btw) it's just about minimising your own expectations of everyone loving everything you do. They won't, and in my opinion, that's the best outcome you can possibly hope for. Rise above it. By being yourself you'll attract true friends and followers and they will love the real you. Aim for and focus on that. 

I'll leave you to your fabulous Friday with this quote from Mahatma Gandhi; 'First, they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win' 

Tricia ScottComment