Overcoming negative thoughts

By Nichola English

I’ve recently had my book “boost your confidence” published into print which I’m so excited about and I was having a chat with a friend about confidence and negative thoughts when it dawned on me that I needed to do a blog on this subject!

We all get them! Even me and I’m one the most positive people you will ever meet! But we get plagued by these little monkeys that sometimes just show up to play mind games with us turning our beliefs and confidence upside down. But the good news is that getting those negative monkeys as I like to call them is not the issue, it’s what you do with them that either makes or breaks your confidence and self- esteem.

Remember “Nothing has meaning in life, only the meaning you give to it”

If you allow negative thoughts to press your buttons, they will. If you allow negative thoughts to help you -they will. It’s not only you and I that get negative thoughts everyone does – Sorry to burst the bubble but it’s true. The great news is that you can change any thought you want by changing what it means to you or the story it plays over in your mind. Negativity can be like a survival instinct, we can only see what’s in front of us a like tunnel vision at times.

In order to increase your confidence, it is very important to know what triggers those negative thoughts and emotions that you have. I always find writing things down makes it far easier to analyse and respond to them so try using a journal to keep track. Remember, it’s never the trigger or even the event that makes you feel the way you do, it’s the thoughts and the internal dialogue in response to that trigger.

Ok, so here are just a few ideas to stay positive when the triggers happen.

Prepare a few positive mini-mantras to say to yourself regularly throughout the day. A couple of my personal favourites are

‘I love and accept myself exactly as I am' 

'I’m thankful for my wonderful life' 

'I am fabulous and deserve to look this good’

You may feel uncomfortable at first when you say these mantras or write them down; that’s to be expected. It just means you are expanding your comfort zone and thats exactly wheat we're aiming for here. 

Enjoy the moment, do something that makes you feel good, write in your journal, join a gym class, listen to your favourite song, I find music can take you to some amazing places, or go spend time with people you enjoy being with or go do some retail therapy.

Finally, at the end of each day, spend some time noticing all the amazing things you’ve done. This could be anything from speaking up at a meeting with an idea or congratulating yourself on going on a well overdue date. It can be anything, small or big, just put pen to paper and at the end of the week, read it to yourself. This is a great way to see how awesome you are!

Now, ask yourself how committed are you to taking back your power?


To find out more about my book you can grab a copy here or further information and help you can email me nichola@nicholaenglish.com or visit my website or just drop me a line in The Community

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