MEET JONITA DSOUZA - EXPLORING FEMININITY
Following what she describes as her 'rock bottom' moment in 2008 Jonita Dsouza began to immerse herself in the teachings of the divine feminine. This led to what can only be described as discovering her sacred purpose in life - to impart her knowledge and experience to women so that together they can understand the gift of womanhood and create a beautiful life and a meaningful society for themselves. When you speak to Jonita you immediately feel at ease, there is a special energy around her and I instantly wanted to know more about what makes her shine in such a gorgeous way.
Jonita describes herself as Feminine Lifestylist, author and creatress of Exploring Femininity, a medicine for modern-day busy women. She assists busy women to reconnect with their feminine and sensual selves in their daily lives so that they can begin to experience more energy, fulfilment and pleasure without burning out and overwhelm. I am so happy that she has decided to share her journey with us, over to you Jonita...
So,JONITA, What’s your story?
Back in 2008, I had it ‘ALL’ (as they say) – a good looking body, a good job, a good relationship, money in my bank account, a good family and a good circle of friends! It was only 2 years ago that I moved from India and loved London city life! It kept me busy and I enjoyed every bit of it until I found myself getting super drained in my job, my relationship was not interesting anymore and friends became boring. I was tired of it of ‘ALL’!
I also realised that, especially in the west, women were under constant pressure to look good to seek attention and that drained me too. You know when you ‘do-the sexy’ and ‘not feel it’! Something was wrong! But I couldn’t figure out what. I soon found myself in the company of fake friends, binge drinking, drugs had a toxic abusive relationship which killed my self-esteem. The sudden loss of my beloved dad added to my problems. I began to fall sick – I did plenty of blood tests but doctors found no answers. I found my body covered with eczema. I no longer felt beautiful. I wanted to run away but didn’t know where to.
The eastern world no longer had a place for me. I was sick of conforming to the male-dominant society, irrespective of being financially independent. The western world no longer felt good as I was tired of focusing on my looks to get attention at work, in my social circles and even in my relationship.
That was a 6 months period of depression that I experienced as I continued complying to the rat race of the modern world. One thing I was sure of was that there was no way that I was just born to pay the bills and die.
One day I discovered a Facebook event called Essence for just £15, so I decided to give it a go. I had nothing to lose. Something that the shamanic teacher said during the event stuck with me – ‘One of the most powerful gifts you can give to another is to show them their essence’. I sat in the corner of the room and cried for the entire event as I realised that I had no idea what my essence was. Little did I know that it would be the beginning of a whole new life that I am super-grateful to be experiencing henceforth.
I spent the next 2 years exploring my true essence in a deep spiritual way with the help of several teachers. I changed my job, and my circle of friends to a new community that supported my growth. I experienced intense emotions, cried a lot, released a lot of emotional baggage, allowed myself the time to heal all the physical and emotional abuse, connected with my soul and uncovered my divine purpose on this planet – I discovered myself finally.
I am now loving living life outside the box, happily married and fulfilling my purpose of empowering other women!
What inspired you to so deeply explore feminine wisdom and spiritual practise?
As I explored, I discovered that as women our innate essence lies within our feminine energy. The more we learn about our feminine energy, we become the resource of our creativity, passion, desire and sacred purpose. I also recognised that women unconsciously pick up societal conditioning of distorted relationships with their bodies, periods and sexuality. This suppression leads to several illnesses. Learning the ancient feminine Taoist and Tantric practices allowed me to collect those distorted pieces of my essence and create a more fulfilling personal and business lifestyle.
You’ve organised many women’s retreats, do you find it difficult logistically to get everyone physically together as opposed to an online event? Do you do all of the organising yourself or do you have help?
Yes, logistically a physical residential retreat is much more complex than arranging online events, but I love it. It is amazing to see women travel from all around the world to gather in an intimate circle. It is even more amazing to see how the universe brings exactly the right women together for such an experience as each one of them holds a specific source of inspiration for others, regardless of them knowing this when they arrive.
I do most of the retreat planning myself - from looking for a suitable venue that is peaceful, surrounded by nature, to the high-vibrational food, transportation, setting up the workshop room, travel itinerary to sacred sites and of course the retreat content. Our retreats are family-run affairs and unlike several other retreats, gives the participants a feeling of entering a community of their chosen family. My husband is a professional chef and together we curate the best Ayurvedic menu to support the transformational healing experience of women. I like to say that we require masculine support to fulfil feminine pleasures and he exactly models that for my business. I also have a Goddess assistant who helps with booking inquiries, payments, transport details and welcoming the guests.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE CRITICISM?
Ahh.. tricky question. In my early days, growing up as a sensitive introvert, I dealt with criticism locked in my bathroom, crying my eyes out. As I grew older, I learnt to listen and carefully course-correct, but it was still triggering. Over the last few years, I have learnt not to take criticism personally. Instead, I allow myself to go into ‘witness-consciousness’ mode; where I detach from the situation and look at all the different perspectives. This has helped me efficiently understand other people’s motives. Also, we have to remember that there are people whose pure motive can be to criticise you just to put you down as they operate from their own insecurities. In such a scenario, I smile and silently tell myself ‘I release you to your highest good. I am unconditional love.’ This way I save my energy for much better things in life.
Self-love is often talked about, particularly in female led businesses however you take this to a whole other level in your work. Do you find your clients are surprised that true self-care is more than taking a bath or reading a book in peace?
Oh yes! Women often get confused between self-care and self-love. Taking a bath, walking in nature, reading a book, quiet time, a delicious meal, etc. are great acts of self-care. Self- care is about giving yourself the time to look after yourself physically and mentally. Whereas self-love is the act of cultivating radical self-acceptance and self-compassion within. Self-care comes easier whereas self-love takes dedicated practice (and often requires external support) of uncovering pieces of our own emotions that have been suppressed in the daily grind of our busy lives. We go through beautiful practices to enrich self-love in our retreats.
If you could choose to live anywhere, where would it be and why?
Bali. I love the culture, the people, the food, the vibe and of course the weather.
Describe yourself in one word.
Hmmm.. how about ‘magic’
What’s next for your business?
I am super excited to be finally offering luxurious Goddess retreats in India for female entrepreneurs, where will be infusing business exploration with a sacred feminine perspective so that we create offerings that stand out. This is a big move and requires me to spend quite a lot of time in India to curate this luxurious experience. There are also a few online courses to be released soon that are solely focussed on sacred sexuality and creativity.
What have you found difficult on your journey?
Isolation. The journey of becoming the voice of our business can be a lonely one. I lost my then circle of friends. They thought I became ‘woo-woo’. My family didn't understand why I left my well-paid IT career to spread the message of female sexuality. It felt disheartening to not have loved ones to share my wins and the impact that I was making in the lives of other women. I had to soon learn that the only way to get them on-board was to live by example because the energy of presence, purpose and pleasure is after all contagious. I was grateful to always have my husband as my cheerleader. It also became evident that it is inevitable to outgrow people around us and it is our responsibility to not force our growth on them. Each one of us are on our own journey of evolution at our own pace.
Conscious sisterhood was my saviour.
What’s your top tip for our awesome female entrepreneurs reading this article?
We female entrepreneurs have a lot on our plates. So instead of learning time-management, learn energy-management. Devote some time in understanding the cyclic nature of your body. Naturally, there are times when your body is at her peak energy and times when your body is at her lowest energy no matter how much coffee you pour in! When as female entrepreneurs we learn this, we can better manage our dairies, family commitments, client calls, content creation, sales, marketing, self-care, etc.
What’s your favourite non work-related thing to do?
I have challenged myself to learn at least 7 new vegan dishes. So, I make sure I turn up some good music, make a nice drink and get myself into the act.
What’s the number one played song on your iPod?
Beyoncè – I was here!
What do you know for sure?
The universe always provides and you will always have time for what you are looking for.
If not, you are not truly looking.
Do you have a book or favourite podcast recommendation for our Female CEO members?
Intimate Conversations by Allana Pratt.
If you could send one message to women worldwide, what would it be? ?
You are the way-shower for the new world and this new world requires you to embody the whole of you – not just your striving, focused, disciplined masculine energy but your contagious wise, compassionate, nurturing, feminine power. It is the responsibility of all of us 21st-century women to explore the depths of our femininity so that we can create a sustainable life for ourselves, for our loved ones and for generations to come.
If you want to know more about Jonita you can visit her website, or catch up with her on over on Facebook or Instagram. You can also find out more about her brilliant retreats here or of course in The Community!